Saturday, November 19, 2016

An Open Facebook (and Internet) Post To The Anonymous Person In My Acting Class

An Open Facebook Post To The Anonymous Person In My Acting Class
I would like to thank you for giving me some new material for my student film, Back To School: I'm Paying To Be Educated, Not Indoctrinated 3 min teaser. I've been so busy with work, school, and life, that I haven't added any new scenes to the 18-page script that I wrote for Script Writing class last Spring.
But, thanks to you and your crybaby, whiny-ass, tattle-tale self, and your complaint to our Acting For The Camera Professor Kris LaMorte, and his bringing your complaint to my attention, I now have some more new and really great material to add to my script!
Your crybaby, whiny-ass, tattle-tale complaint about my playing my latest song parody, #TrumpGrabbedMyPuss (And I Liked It) in the hallway and how you were offended by same also gives me yet another opportunity to shamelessly plug the song Trailer #1 and to announce that Trailer #2 is in the works with more of "Bill Clinton" and his antics in the next trailer.
This issue and moment also give me the opportunity to strongly suggest that you change your major. You are in a level-200 acting class, which presumably implies that you are wanting to be an actor/actress--is this correct? If yes, please note that you are striving to enter the Hollywood aka Hollyweird film industry which is the epitome of smut, decadence, violence, moral decay, and immorality. If you are truly offended by my song parody, #TrumpGrabbedMyPuss (And I Liked It), then you will be mortified by the things that get put on film in the film industry. Let me save you the continued grief and sure-to-be future professional counseling for your damaged psyche by steering you away from this industry. You will thank me in the future--that I promise!
Further, to all of my other classmates, including but not limited to Tyra Barabino, Anthoneshia Dumas, and any others that I may not be FB friends with or have inexcusably failed to tag, I implore you to please no longer pick monologs that contain any reference to Pussy, including but not limited to the phrase "Eat Me!" which is a reference to eating Pussy, Fuck, Dick, Cock, Cocksucker, Mother Fucker, pointing finger-guns, making threats, murder, rape, suicide, genocide, etc., etc., etc., as these references must surely cause deep and permanent psychological damage to our crybaby, whiny-ass, tattle-tale classmate.
I know that Professor Kris LaMorte has allowed us to use real monologs from real movies and that more than 50% of the monologs that we've read have had references to the above referenced highly-offensive issues, but I implore you, PLEASE pick only monologs from G-rated, family-friendly films for future readings in the class. Even if you do have to pick a monolog from an R-rated movie, please pick a scene where nothing that might be construed, conceived or contrived as offensive is said, done, or implied. For example, my latest monolog by Bill Murray in the movie, Lost In Translation, while he is laying in bed with his married and much younger lover, they are fully clothed and if you didn't know any better, he could be talking to his own daughter. In case you don't remember my monolog, here is my video showing my portrayal, followed by Bill Murray's original scene in the movie. He did okay! :P
In closing, I would like to offer my sincerest apology to the crybaby, whiny-ass, tattle-tale fellow student actor who obviously learned from Hillary on how to feign indignation about something. Your efforts almost outdo Hillary's to be the epitome of hypocrisy. NOT really! I could give a crap about your crybaby, whiny-ass, tattle-tale self but I do sincerely thank you for the opportunity to write this long, sarcastic, FB post showing off some of my rhetorical skills--and for the new scene for my student film! LOL

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