You Know You're From New Orleans When

This is for my Louisiana friends (taken from a friend's Facebook post, who probably took it from someone else).

Your last name isn't pronounced the way it's spelled. (This is a personal one - it's always pronounced Le-BLANK.)

No matter where else you go in the world, you are always disappointed with the food.

You get up in the morning and start cooking a pot of rice before you give any thought to what you'll fix for dinner.

Your baby's first words are "long beads."

You ask, "How dey running?" and "Are dey fat?" but you're inquiring about seafood quality.

When a hurricane is imminent, you have a lot more faith in Nash Roberts than Super Doppler 6000.

Nothing shocks you, period, ever. Not politics, hurricanes, red lights, parking tickets, the Saints, Mardi Gras.

Your "one martini lunch" becomes a "five Bloody Mary afternoon" and you keep your job.

You're walking with a plastic cup of beer. When it starts to rain, you cover your beer instead of your head.

Your idea of health food is a baked potato instead of fries with your fried seafood platter.

You call tomato sauce "red gravy."

You know you recycled too much newspaper when there isn't enough for the dinner (or crawfish) table.

Your house payment is less than your air conditioning bill.

You push little old ladies out of the way to catch Mardi Gras throws.

You know it's "ask" but you purposely say "ax."

You understand it when someone describes their favorite color as K & B purple.

Someone asks you, "Where you at?" and you tell them how you are.

You are left behind at an out-of-town bar searching for a "go cup."

You think of potholes as naturally occurring speed bumps.

Your grandparents are called "Maw Maw" and "Paw Paw."

You cringe every time you hear an actor with a Southern or Cajun accent in a "New Orleans-based" movie or TV show.

You have to reset your clocks after every thunderstorm.

You waste more time navigating back streets than you would if you just sat in traffic.

You fall asleep to the soothing sounds of four box fans.

You eat dinner out and spend the entire meal talking about all the other good places you've eaten.

Every so often, you have waterfront property.

Everyone you know has either hit an armadillo or nutria with their car or truck.

The crawdad mounds in your front yard have overtaken the grass.

The four festival seasons in your year are Crawfish, Shrimp, Crab, and King Cake.

The smell of a crawfish or shrimp boil turns you on more than does the Movie Channel or HBO.

The waitress at your local sandwich shop tells you a fried oyster po-boy' dressed' is healthier than a Caesar salad.

When giving directions you use words like 'uptown', 'downtown', 'backatown', 'riverside', 'lakeside', 'other side of the bayou', 'up the bayou', 'down the bayou', or 'other side of the levee'.

When you refer to a geographical location 'way up North', you are referring to places like Shreveport, Little Rock or Memphis, 'where it gets real cold'.

You 'wrench' your hands in the sink with an onion bar to get the crawfish smell off.

You assume everyone has mosquito swarms in their backyard.

You believe that purple, green and gold look good together (and you will even eat things those colors).

You can pronounce Tchoupitoulas but can't spell it. (also, Thibodeaux, Opelousas, Pontchartrain, Ouachita, and Atchafalaya)

You don't learn until high school that Mardi Gras is not a national holiday.

You don't realize until high school what a 'county' is.

You don't worry when you see ships riding higher in the river than the top of your house.

You go by 'ya-mom'n'ems' on Good Friday for family supper.

You go to buy a new winter coat ( what most people refer to as windbreakers) and throw your arms up in the air to make sure it allows enough room to catch Mardi Gras beads.

You greet people with 'Howzyamomma'an'dem?' and hear back 'Dey fine'!"

You have spent a lazy summer afternoon on the Lake Pontchartrain seawall catching blue crabs.

You judge a po-boy by the number of napkins used.

You know the definition of 'dressed'. (As in "I want my po' boy dressed.")

You know those big roaches can fly, but you're able to sleep at night anyway.

You know what a nutria rat is but you still pick it to represent your baseball team.

You like your rice and politics dirty.

You prefer skiing in the bayou.

You pronounce the largest city in the state as "N'awlins."

You realize the rain forest is less humid than Louisiana.

You've ever had Community Coffee.

Your burial plot is six feet "above the ground" rather than six feet "below the ground."

You've ever worn shorts at Christmas time.

You pronounce Lafayette as "Laffy-ette", not "La-fy-ette".

You learned to drive a boat before you could drive a car.

You know the meaning of a "Cocodrie Reeboks". (a pair of white fishing boots)

You offer somebody a "coke" and then ask them what kind: Coca-Cola, Dr. Pepper, Pepsi, 7Up?

You can name all of your 3rd cousins.

You plan your wedding around hunting season & LSU football.

You have a ditch on at least one side of your property.

You can list all the ingredients of gumbo or jambalaya.

If you ever had to wait for the bridge to "come down" so you can get home.

If you've ever been to a wedding and someone either danced in a #3 washtub or with a broom and this was considered normal.

You "make your groceries" or "save your dishes" or have an "icebox".

You mow your lawn with a "mowin' machine."

You can't think of anybody that can cook better than your momma.

You know when it's appropriate to use "Tony Chachere's".

You know an old person that can "treat" you for warts.